Management Course

Lesson 1

A man is getting into the shower just as his wife is finishing up her shower, when the doorbell rings.

The wife quickly wraps herself in a towel and runs downstairs. When she opens the door, there stands Bob, the next-door neighbour.

Before she says a word, Bob says, 'I'll give you $800 to drop that towel.'

After thinking for a moment, the woman drops her towel and stands nakedin front of Bob, after a few seconds, Bob hands her $800 and leaves.

The woman wraps back up in the towel and goes back upstairs. When she gets to the bathroom, her husband asks, 'Who was that?' '

It was Bob the next door neighbour,' she replies.

'Great,'the husband says, 'did he say anything about the $800 he owes me?'

Moral of the story

If you share critical information pertaining to credit and risk with your shareholders in time, you may be in a position to prevent avoidable exposure.



Lesson 2

A priest offered a Nun a lift.

She got in and crossed her legs, forcing her gown to reveal a leg.

The priest nearly had an accident.

After controlling the car, he stealthily slid his hand up her leg.

The nun said, 'Father, remember Psalm 129?'

The priest removed his hand. But, changing gears, he let his hand slide up her leg again.

The nun once again said, 'Father, remember Psalm 129?'

The priest apologized 'Sorry sister but the flesh is weak.'

Arriving at the convent, the nun sighed heavily and went on her way.

On his arrival at the church, the priest rushed to look up Psalm 129.

It said, 'Go forth and seek, further up, you will find glory.'

Moral of the story:

If you are not well informed in your job, you might miss a great opportunity.



Lesson 3:

A sales rep, an administration clerk, and the manager are walking to lunch when they find an antique oil lamp.

They rub it and a Genie comes out.

The Genie says, 'I'll give each of you just one wish.'

'Me first! Me first!' says the admin clerk. 'I want to be in the Bahamas , driving a speedboat, without a care in the world.'

Puff! She's gone.

'Me next! Me next!' says the sales rep. 'I want to be in Hawaii , relaxing on the beach with my personal masseuse, an endless supply of Pina Coladas and the love of my life.'

Puff! He's gone.

'OK, you're up,' the Genie says to the manager.

The manager says, 'I want those two back in the office after lunch.'

Moral of the story:

Always let your boss have the first say.



Lesson 4

An eagle was sitting on a tree resting, doing nothing.

A small rabbit saw the eagle and asked him, 'Can I also sit like ou! and do nothing?'

The eagle answered: 'Sure, why not.'

So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the eagle and rested.

All of a sudden, a fox appeared, jumped on the rabbit and ate it.

Moral of the story:

To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sitting very, very high up.




Lesson 5

A turkey was chatting with a bull.

'I would love to be able to get to the top of that tree' sighed the turkey,'but I haven't got the energy.'

'Well, why don't you nibble on some of my droppings?' replied the bull. They're packed with nutrients.'

The turkey pecked at a lump of dung, and found it actually gives him enough strength to reach the lowest branch of the tree.

The next day, after eating some more dung, he reached the second branch.

Finally after a fourth night, the turkey was proudly perched at the top of the tree.

He was promptly spotted by a farmer, who shot him out of the tree.


Moral of the story:

Bull Shit might get you to the top, but it won't keep you there..




Lesson 6

A little bird was flying south for the winter.

It was so cold the bird froze and fell to the ground into a large field.

While he was lying there, a cow came by and dropped some dung on him.

As the frozen bird lay there in the pile of cow dung, he began to realizehow warm he was.

The dung was actually thawing him out!

He laid there all warm and happy, and soon began to sing for joy.

A passing cat heard the bird singing and came to investigate.

Following the sound, the cat discovered the bird under the pile of cowdung, and promptly dug him out and ate him.

Morals of the story:

(1) Not everyone who shits on you is your enemy.

(2) Not everyone who gets you out of shit is your friend.

(3) And when you're in deep shit, it's best to keep your mouth shut!

THUS ENDS THE FIVE MINUTE MANAGEMENT COURSE

the ghost in raffles place + something to relax after that

it seems that in some office in raffles place, they captured this video and its quite eerie. It came out in the news and in stomp. so.. check it out...


Ghost Sighting at Raffles Place - More amazing video clips are a click away


okie... now.. relax yourself with this freakingly funny video.. guess if they do this in singapore, we'll be having lots of complains from the aunties and uncles, prob every singapore singaporeans, as they just love complaining. Even a stray cat or dog in park also must write and complain..


Insane Japanese Pranks - The funniest bloopers are right here

Grandma's House

I was away to my grandma's house since sat to now. I went together with my cousin and her husband, as they were going to "serve tea" to my cousin's dad. uncle and aunt. We set off at 7am, targeting to reach there at around 11am, but because of a series of delays, like waiting for the longest ever time i had waited for bus 170 at the malaysia customs (half an hour), bus timing and the bus break down, we reached there at 1pm. And immediately after the tea serving and a quick lunch, my cousin and her husband left at 3.30pm!!! Travel so far, leave so fast. Wa lao, grandma lei, also cannot stay a little longer. Only visit her once a year for my cousin, and leave so early. Nevertheless, the serving of tea had my grandparents smiling for the day. I stayed on, even thou they left. Wanna spend some time with my grandma, since she's better now. Also, planned to study for my exams there, as its a quieter environment, away from all the distractions. My grandma, she's a miracle! Surprising everyone of us, the docs, nurse, everyone!! I learned from my aunt how she came thru. It gets me thinking of how it goes abt.

Twice or thrice, she's on the verge of death, since last year, as i had blogged. Her tongues rolled back, she did not eat anything, the nurse couldn't get any blood from her despite numerous attempts to draw the blood samples from her. The evidence can be seen clearly on her hands, all the blue black marks. She lost lots of weight, her wrinkled skins are there for all to see. She aged. The last time, she was sent to hospital abt 1 month ago, she's quiet. Going off. My aunts and my mum were there. They were buddhists. They chanted the chants, telling my grandma to go with the goddess (guan yin) or buddha, if he or she comes. My grandma, as my aunt told me, then, had her tongue rolled back. She's suffering. She managed to murmured some words out, saying she saw Guan Yin.

My aunt said:" Go with her, dun worry about us."

Perhaps, not being able to bear with the sight of my grandma suffering. My grandma, then staggered out some words, with her tongue still rolled back.

She said:" Guan Yin Pu Sa gave me some water to drink."

That said, she slowly recovered, thou i dunno how. She's able to walk no! of course with the help of a person holding her. She gained a little weight, thou her foots are swollen. Its an unbelievable recovery. She's 91 yrs old. And this is perhaps something that has people believing in deities. Perhaps, i think, the goddess had really come to save her. Perhaps she's fated for a long life with my grandpa who's 96 yrs old. Perhaps, the E.Excel food nutritions which my cousin, ah lian biao jie and my mum gave her constantly, regained her health(which is confirm the reason). Perhaps, she's not done with everything, and waiting for the family to reunie again. Perhaps, perhaps, perhaps. There's just so many perhaps.

Anyway, its been like 10 yrs, other than during chinese new year, since i stayed there for as long as i like, which usually, its with my frens or a quick 1 to 2 days stay. I enjoy the peaceful, undisturbed life there. I missed the childhood times there with my childhood friends. I missed the times i had with my grandma when she would get me a cup of milo and biscuits in the middle of the night, when i told her i am hungry. She would accompany me for i'm scared of darkness and ghost when i'm young. I missed the times where my grandpa will bring me along with him to the coffeeshop, on his scooter, thereafter, teaching me how to drink a hot tea/ coffee on the antique cups the coffeeshops used. I missed the running abt with my brother and childhood friends, playing mu tou ren, Bing bing, catching, one leg, climbing trees to get rambutans and cocoas, etc. i missed every thing, and just hope time can be turned back so i can savour the moments once more.

I stumbled onto some pictures there, where they were taken when i was younger, thou i have no recollections of them. I took some photos and along with the pictues i took. so there they are:

That's me!

A few months old?My paternal grandma,maternal grandma, mum, me and my cousinMy grandma and mum when they are younger. Look at her huge arms.
Look at how healthy my grandparents were a few years' back?

Me and my third aunt, who takes very good care of my grandparents
My cousin, cousin in law and me outside my grandma's house
Me and my beloved grandma. My grandparents and me. See how much they had aged?
Look how happy my grandpa is?
Cousin serving tea to my grandpa.
Then to my grandma

Praying to the heaven in the open ground outside my grandma's house.

Charm: If only time can be turned back, i would savour every moment better.

Something to destress for exams

Noe what?? i saw this video from one of my fren's blog. they are such creative lads! i keep copying the video from them and post it here, so u guys can enjoy.. sorry, YZ!!!

haha...

And they say:" Not funny, i run around NTU!!" lol...





This is for u guys!!! The marketing students!!!

My Best Friend

In life, everyone has his highs and lows. However, thru these, the ones who shared them with u are ur best frens. One who went thru hell and heaven with you.

I have a best of best "friend". His name is called spalding. He's round, and he loves to bounce up and down. He never complained when i vented my anger on him, however, delighting me with some hugs, when i'm sweaty. He's been thru with me when i had my worse day or period ( as in time, nothing else)in my life, and when i'm bored with nothing to do. However, he has a bad habit. He loves me carying him around.

Yeah! He has other names as well. But i love calling him spalding, some people call him Basketball.

As mentioned above, basketball is my passion in life. Playing a good game with it will lighten my mood for the whole day. On the other hand, having a bad game will have me brooding over it over the next few days. Don't get me wrong. I'm not exactly the best player u can see. I would consider myself a social player who does unorthodox way of playing it. Well, anyway uthrow the ball, pass the ball or shoot the ball, as long as it can gives u a feeling of excitment, that will do.

I remembered once, when i was really really down, okie.. i'm out of love at that time. i felt so depressed. Everyone's busy with their life suck as works and exams or school. Only spalding came to me, ask me to bring him to the basketball court, and he took my mind off the depressing moments for that hour or so.

These few months, i had not had a really good game of it. Perhaps the worries of the old injuries to my knees and back acting up, plus the aches and pains on them when i tried laying up or shooting. I hate injuries, and they dun seemed to go away! For months, they just wun heal.

And the urge of a game of basketball can sometimes curb ur thirst to do other stuffs like studying for exams. This results to another bad game and making me feel worse.

Today, thou i felt the pain and strains of the injuries again, perhaps the arrogance of the 1.9++ skinny guy being so the *&!@$#$, i suddenly had the feel to do it again. Thou, not as good as what i used to be, i felt at least a few shots did the job for me. Plus, the exceptional number(think its the highest no) that i had, rejecting the tall guy. WoW!! thats really amazing. I cannot jump as high but still manage to reject him like erm.. 8 times, of course thats excluding another few from the other guys.. hey hey... that really gave me the feeling of ecstacy!!

My friend does care for me once in while!! haha..

Well... lets hope i'll recover soon.

Charm: I can accept defeat, but i cannot accept not trying!

A New Motivation

Recently, i'd been rather busy with work, which ended yesterday. So happy to have finished my schedule for the month, but i guess all of it would be going to my new found sport.

I had not been working out my body for the past 6 months due to injury + laziness. But for the past week, i tried going for a run, doing my statics and swimming, before realising my fitness has dropped by leaps and bounds. haha... Guess that the result of probably a lack of motivation.

I have been trying to look for a motivation other than having a good body, so as to convince myself to work out regularly, but probably couldn't really found any. That is until i went to This new found sport that makes me really wanna have a better body, due to the exposure of upperbody. OH!!! Don't get me wrong. I went to my first wakboarding at punggol marina country club today.

I took an hour bus ride to punggol, realised i had missed the shutter bus, tried hailing a cab, before realing that punggol is a place for those loners. There are no cab in sight! Perhaps less than 5 cars on the road per min, passing by me. Thats not even saying that booking a cab will have to make me to wait for 20 mins!!! OMG!!! there's such a worse ever place in singapore without good amentities. No wonder my colleagues have been saying that punggol isn't good. lol..

So, after 25 mins of waiting, i finally get into a cab, while cancelling the booking i had made with the other cab company. After reaching, i realise something. I forgot to copy down the person in charge's Tel no, and the name as well... so okie.. i walk around trying to figure out where they are. but there's no way i can do that as everyone looks young and sporty. haha.. so i hang around til someone asked me if i'm from SIM.

So onto the boat i went with this other gal from SIM. We travelled to Seletar Island before she starts her stunts and wakeboarding stuffs. She seems so pro, perhaps i being a first timer. i hope to do what she did on my first day but i cannot even stand up on the wake board, managing to squart at least. Hmmm, that already very good for a guy to do on the first lesson as what they had said.

2 years ago, a friend of mine from SIM went for this session too and she said it was really fun. But the ongoing daily diving, drinking seawater turned me off upon thinking of another watersports game again. But todays session proved me wrong and i enjoyed it, thou injuring my middle fingle while trying to hold on to the rope, hitting the board as i fell flat onto the water. haha.. That makes me think of how she enjoyed it 2 years ago. haha..

Gonna go for another session next week even thou my exams are coming on 25th this month. My expenses are going to go up too. $60 - $80 per session. Hmm... but thats prob another motivation that will bring me back to the old sporty me, while regaining my fitness. Guys and girls, if u have a chance, do give this a try!

Charm: Human only live once a lifetime, young once a lifetime. Be adventurous! Enjoy the extremes!

Funniest blog ever

I was reading some of my earlier post that i had post in my friendster when i came across a blog that i had posted, hmmm, i mean a link. I clicked on it, and the way this blogger blogged, had me cursing and swearing at the way he writes up on his blog. Its so funny that any Singaporean who speaks english will laugh from the top of his blog to the bottom. Once again, hold ur laughter and read his blog. Any non-singaporean who cannot understand english, pls check the singlish dictionary at : http://www.singaporecanlah.com/why_singaporecanlah/singlish_dictionary.php or http://singlishdictionary.com/

so this is his blog:

http://rockson.blogspot.com/

Charm: A laughter a day, keeps the worries away. (At least for a moment)