A one year gap to reflect on

14/5/07, Monday. I can still vividly recall the bench on changi beach. The talks that i had with her on the evening. The tears shed by both of us. Forward the 366 days to the present, this had been the torturous year for me.

Perhaps the worse part of a human body, is the brain. Thou it helps u to function ur whole body muscles, it also allows u to remember the sweet and bitter moments. This past year, exactly a year, moments of the past keep flashing back in my mind. The moment of happiness in the zoo, food exhitbitions, movies, meals, butter, phone calls, the bus rides and lots of other stuffs, have been flshing back in my mind.

Probably, the events in the past one year has a significant change in my thinking. I were tempted to be with one of the same sex. I were afraid to make a first move to a gal who prob catches my eye. I were not able to have the confidence to talk on the phone for a long time with someone else. I were... Maybe, the single thought of the process of liking someone to dating to breaking up and the after effects is the reason.

Sometimes, i will just smile at myself, thou no one amused me, to keep the upsetting thoughts away. Laugh at myself to hide my in-confidence. Trying to talk more craps so as to keep myself occupied. Play a game of basketball to keep all my mind on the basketball and the game.

Friends, will occasionally ask me what i'm smiling or laughing at. I will tell them nothing. But i'm actually smilling at my sillyness. The fact that human is an emotional creature.

A year ago, on the bus ride, she told me:" if after some time, we still miss each other, we will be together."(something like that)

Recently, i saw the happiness in her eyes again. I feel happy for her but at the same time a call for me to let go.

Perhaps fate is the creator of all happenings.

I'll start learning to adapt to my environment. I'll start looking at things on another view. I shall create a new chapter.

(This is not a blame or anything, but just a reflection of thoughts for the past one year of craziness)

Charm: In life, the gains and loses aren't important. What's important is, everyone's together.