Cheers!! lol... finally i got all the fancyful stuffs up: the chatbox, songs and counter. Okie... the pictures are not up yet. i know... but as mentioned earlier, haha... i am a lazy bum. I'm lazy to upload the photos. YA rite!!! Lazy!! Plain lazy!! haha..
Okie.. up here, now u are listening to 3 songs from MYMP.. think they are a philippines band but i am attracted to their singing since i watched them in youtube a few years back. My favorite song is the 'Especially for U'. How do u find it?
Their song in youtube... take a look!!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Mf2kClO8cro
Today, i went to watched the lousiest, lamest show ever, with wen and jo.. omg.. The review from several press was that its a hilarious show.. Omg... i almost fell asleep!! Its not really funny at all!! haha... Perhaps, those who are not as lame will find them funny. But, being with a group of friends, who grew up with me, being lame, i do not find that really that funny.. oops! haha... the show is 'Meeting the Spartans', or as what Jo had pronounced, Miss this spastans'.
Okie... I admit. I'm lame at times. But come on, lol... i think the show is not as lame as me, and that perhaps contribute to the boringness of this show for me. Moreover, the 60 plus mins for it seems forever as the show seems to be repeating itself, i mean the same trick. Like what someone had once said: 'One time funny, 2 times stupid.'
okie, enough of criticising.
My test for stats today, was not as well done as i expected. Hey come on! i used to study those probabilities in sec schools and in poly and those graphs too. But, perhaps a little bit of over-confidence just aren't for me now a days. Long were the days when not touching these 'mathematics' stuffs and scoring almost full marks. I need to start putting myself into gears, start revising, and studying. hey! but that always seems like dreams, with me wondering off to games, sports, movies, suppers, etc but not the papers..
2 more tests next week. Hope, i can cast those wild thoughts off me and quietly sit down and look at those tiny words on the papers..
Charm: Between want and hope, its just a thin line seperating them. With determination, Hope can be achieved to a want!!
Thursday, February 28, 2008
Thursday, February 21, 2008
Everyone needs a little encouragement in life
Hmm.. guess these few days, i'm in the mood to blog.
I learned a number of things also during these few days. Well.. This is it.. haha. The fact is this: i'm a lazy person. I hate doing my homework and studying for tests but dreamed of scoring well. Maybe, everyone's like that.
When i started this blog, my main intention is to blog how i feel without putting all those fancyful kind of animes or pics in my blog, hoping that those who come to my blog to give me a little of their precious time, will look at the content of my blog rather than to look at those photos. However, i realise recently that, i'm looking at other people's blog with envy. They have such cool blogs with links to other people ones and that with pictures, it look more lively. Hmm.. maybe, this is the same as how we'd actually been living along all these years. We tend to think: ok, i must find a partner who have inner beauty rather outer one. But in the end, all those people who crossed our lifes before either dun fulfill this or that. But the main reason that i think is that we are deceiving ourselves. Lets face the fact. This is 2008! i know this may offend some people out there. how many of the 'beauties' we see these days can be the one that we are looking for? My ans? Few. Hehe...
I had been trying to look at this blog of mine, trying to figure out how to use this blog other than typing because i wanna attribute some things to my family. The result? haha... U can see in the blog! I'm still wandering how this thing works. hehe.. i wanna put stuffs like chat box, links, pics, etc. but, after a few log ins and few attempts, i give up. haha.. maybe someone out there can give me a little helping hand?
Now, if u guys have realised, i stopped blogging for some time during the dec and jan period. This is due to the fact that i thought its boring. No one's reading my blog and i dunno who is. That is until people who read my blog, prob, "CNY with my Grandma", told me that they like that blog very much.
It really touched me. My motive for writing that is due to the fact that my grandma means lots to me and that i wanna remember that feeling in years to come by and maybe flip thru that blog again some day maybe down the years. However, knowing the fact that people has been reading mine, gave me the encouragement to have the kind of jubilee feeling, to blog.
Since young, thinking back, everyone around us has been encouraging us, be it when we first crawl, walk or run. When we first learned how to write, talk and go to school. This so called "ENCOURAGEMENT", has slowly dried up as we grow older. Instead, some has gone the reversal ways. An encouragement everyday, won't do any harm to u but it may give the other person a motivation to strive harder. Lets not stop this practice we had been thought since young and give an encouragement to people around us.
Charm: Life isn't all about YOURSELF!
I learned a number of things also during these few days. Well.. This is it.. haha. The fact is this: i'm a lazy person. I hate doing my homework and studying for tests but dreamed of scoring well. Maybe, everyone's like that.
When i started this blog, my main intention is to blog how i feel without putting all those fancyful kind of animes or pics in my blog, hoping that those who come to my blog to give me a little of their precious time, will look at the content of my blog rather than to look at those photos. However, i realise recently that, i'm looking at other people's blog with envy. They have such cool blogs with links to other people ones and that with pictures, it look more lively. Hmm.. maybe, this is the same as how we'd actually been living along all these years. We tend to think: ok, i must find a partner who have inner beauty rather outer one. But in the end, all those people who crossed our lifes before either dun fulfill this or that. But the main reason that i think is that we are deceiving ourselves. Lets face the fact. This is 2008! i know this may offend some people out there. how many of the 'beauties' we see these days can be the one that we are looking for? My ans? Few. Hehe...
I had been trying to look at this blog of mine, trying to figure out how to use this blog other than typing because i wanna attribute some things to my family. The result? haha... U can see in the blog! I'm still wandering how this thing works. hehe.. i wanna put stuffs like chat box, links, pics, etc. but, after a few log ins and few attempts, i give up. haha.. maybe someone out there can give me a little helping hand?
Now, if u guys have realised, i stopped blogging for some time during the dec and jan period. This is due to the fact that i thought its boring. No one's reading my blog and i dunno who is. That is until people who read my blog, prob, "CNY with my Grandma", told me that they like that blog very much.
It really touched me. My motive for writing that is due to the fact that my grandma means lots to me and that i wanna remember that feeling in years to come by and maybe flip thru that blog again some day maybe down the years. However, knowing the fact that people has been reading mine, gave me the encouragement to have the kind of jubilee feeling, to blog.
Since young, thinking back, everyone around us has been encouraging us, be it when we first crawl, walk or run. When we first learned how to write, talk and go to school. This so called "ENCOURAGEMENT", has slowly dried up as we grow older. Instead, some has gone the reversal ways. An encouragement everyday, won't do any harm to u but it may give the other person a motivation to strive harder. Lets not stop this practice we had been thought since young and give an encouragement to people around us.
Charm: Life isn't all about YOURSELF!
Friday, February 15, 2008
Inspirations
Hmmm.. i'm not the kind of person who blogs daily and i hope those reading my blog won't be too disappointed that i don't blog daily.
It seems a lot of people around me think that i'm rather lousy in my language.. that is my english. lol... Guess i created this way because of the way in which i speak. I don't see the need to speak ang mo style or whatever style of english to show that. I like the way in which it shd be fun, short, and that the message is being delivered.
I'm a kind of person who believes in emotions, inspirations. Therefore, most of the time, i do things by pure emotions(gan jue) and by those who inspire me.
This may sound surprising. I used to be in choir for erm.. i think... 3 years. and thereafter, i never ever opened my mouth to sing in secondary school. But childhood songs like ji gong and xiao sha zou yi hui do keep my heart singing. Probably due to the shutting up of my mouth causes me to only listen to songs but not sing them while in sec sch.
My first love of singing songs was when i broke up with my first gf. I began listening to those meaningful lyrics yet sorrowful ones. Songs by Huang pin yuan( Ni zhe me she de wo nan guo and an jin from jay), started me singing. I lost those wonderful pitches which i think i possessed in primary school. My voice sounds terrible.
However, the person who inspired me to know more about singing songs is my last gf. She sings so beautifully. She started me watching at singing competition like superstar to the now super sunday. The funny thing is that thou we'd been together for 1 1/2 years, we'd only been to the KTV once. Funny isn't it?
Thou being there once, til now i can still vividly remember how she sang the song "Beautiful Love" by Tanya Chua, and it has since stuck with me whenever i go to KTV.
Recently, i'd been frequenting ktv, as i had found my singing Kaki, Shane, as well as being inspired by those Taiwan Singing competition like 'Xing guang and super sunday". Yang zhong Wei is one of the main reason as well. The song in which he sang(Bei Pan), really keeps me singing. As Shane said, its good to sing his song as the first one as it opens up your vocals. Hmm... Shane is another gal who sings terrifically well. Its great to have her as a singing buddy. lol.. Recently, we'd been singing duet and it really sounds good. haha..
Hmmm.. but don't get it wrong. We are very good friends, not couple. I remember coming across a phrase. Think it came from someone i knew. It goes: 2 people who knows each other too well will be very difficult to become couple. Pardon me for this. Its direct translation. hehe..
Its been like quite a while since i was last involved in a relationship. I only had 3 gfs before, 2 of which i think are serious. These days, my good friend, Yongzhong, has been bugging me to get a gf. Know why? his reason is simply that he cannot stand me without a gf. lol.. what kind of theory. If i anyhow look for one, i will be a playboy and i won't want that. hehe..
I think most man wish to be a playboy. And frankly speaking, deep down, i'm struggling. lol.. but i guess the believe i have in my family and my religion do keep me resisting the temptations. Some friends ask me: how do u know u like a girl.
My answer: Its all by your heart. Not brain. Your heart controls your feelings. If u dun feel anything for the other half, dun start it in the first place.
I'd been happy for my best pals recently. Seeing them with their love ones. Its such a heart warming kind of thing. This sunday, we'll be going to lo hei. i requested them to bring their gfs along coz i like our group to stay together despite being attached and also to allow their gfs to feel 'homely' to our group. We had been best of pals for at least 16 years. So the last thing i wanna see is to see the group moving in different directions slowly.
Charm: Inspirations are the life of human. Without them, we'll be robots.
It seems a lot of people around me think that i'm rather lousy in my language.. that is my english. lol... Guess i created this way because of the way in which i speak. I don't see the need to speak ang mo style or whatever style of english to show that. I like the way in which it shd be fun, short, and that the message is being delivered.
I'm a kind of person who believes in emotions, inspirations. Therefore, most of the time, i do things by pure emotions(gan jue) and by those who inspire me.
This may sound surprising. I used to be in choir for erm.. i think... 3 years. and thereafter, i never ever opened my mouth to sing in secondary school. But childhood songs like ji gong and xiao sha zou yi hui do keep my heart singing. Probably due to the shutting up of my mouth causes me to only listen to songs but not sing them while in sec sch.
My first love of singing songs was when i broke up with my first gf. I began listening to those meaningful lyrics yet sorrowful ones. Songs by Huang pin yuan( Ni zhe me she de wo nan guo and an jin from jay), started me singing. I lost those wonderful pitches which i think i possessed in primary school. My voice sounds terrible.
However, the person who inspired me to know more about singing songs is my last gf. She sings so beautifully. She started me watching at singing competition like superstar to the now super sunday. The funny thing is that thou we'd been together for 1 1/2 years, we'd only been to the KTV once. Funny isn't it?
Thou being there once, til now i can still vividly remember how she sang the song "Beautiful Love" by Tanya Chua, and it has since stuck with me whenever i go to KTV.
Recently, i'd been frequenting ktv, as i had found my singing Kaki, Shane, as well as being inspired by those Taiwan Singing competition like 'Xing guang and super sunday". Yang zhong Wei is one of the main reason as well. The song in which he sang(Bei Pan), really keeps me singing. As Shane said, its good to sing his song as the first one as it opens up your vocals. Hmm... Shane is another gal who sings terrifically well. Its great to have her as a singing buddy. lol.. Recently, we'd been singing duet and it really sounds good. haha..
Hmmm.. but don't get it wrong. We are very good friends, not couple. I remember coming across a phrase. Think it came from someone i knew. It goes: 2 people who knows each other too well will be very difficult to become couple. Pardon me for this. Its direct translation. hehe..
Its been like quite a while since i was last involved in a relationship. I only had 3 gfs before, 2 of which i think are serious. These days, my good friend, Yongzhong, has been bugging me to get a gf. Know why? his reason is simply that he cannot stand me without a gf. lol.. what kind of theory. If i anyhow look for one, i will be a playboy and i won't want that. hehe..
I think most man wish to be a playboy. And frankly speaking, deep down, i'm struggling. lol.. but i guess the believe i have in my family and my religion do keep me resisting the temptations. Some friends ask me: how do u know u like a girl.
My answer: Its all by your heart. Not brain. Your heart controls your feelings. If u dun feel anything for the other half, dun start it in the first place.
I'd been happy for my best pals recently. Seeing them with their love ones. Its such a heart warming kind of thing. This sunday, we'll be going to lo hei. i requested them to bring their gfs along coz i like our group to stay together despite being attached and also to allow their gfs to feel 'homely' to our group. We had been best of pals for at least 16 years. So the last thing i wanna see is to see the group moving in different directions slowly.
Charm: Inspirations are the life of human. Without them, we'll be robots.
Sunday, February 10, 2008
CNY with my grandma...
hey.. its Chinese new year! A rather.. maybe very plain chinese new year, probably because i'd been working.. my mum's working, my sis running out every daylight, bro in the camp, leaving my old singapore maternal grandma to clean up the house. But hey!!! i did try having the eve and the eve of eve of cny to try cleaning up the house, but it seems the enormous task which used to be a teamwork by every member of my family above, cannot be done!! lol... so, we'll have to make do with it this year!! lol...
Finally got to see my uncles and aunties during the reunion dinner. Its not as if that they nvr visit my grandma, but they do used to do it on a weekly basis on sunday, making my house a buzz with all those majongs. Perhaps the kids are grown up, my cousins, aunties are seldom seen on sundays. Its a great feeling thou.. to have the family back. Hmmm... as usual, my fifth uncle's side is missing. Well, they do come on Chu Yi thou..
lol.. dunno what i typing..
after the reunion dinner, i went to watch Ah long pte ltd. lol.. A very disappointing show. As in, its not the kind of really entertaining show we'd been expecting all these years from Jack Neo, but its really not that good.
As usual, i went back to malaysia with my mum to visit my grandma. Its quieter this year. my second uncle is back but not his children and wife. they had kind of a tiff. However, to me. i think that no matter what differences, we, as the grandchildren or children, shd go back and visit our very own grandma, one who's been very very caring to us all these years. Our grandpa who is always sleeping now, not remembering anyone or anything, but once a great cook and one who took us out, taught us how to drink tea the traditional way.
My grandma's health has been really bad as compared to last year. She's 92. Last year, she can walk, cook, talk. Not this year. She suffered a stroke late last year. Docs gave her no hope. She's on the line of death, but miracles do happen. She survived! I'm glad!
But this visit's really giving my excruciating pain. The way she's struggling, calling my aunt every moment, every minute. Not having the strength to even stand up, having to wear pampers, not eating as much. Life's never been the same whenever i go back to my grandma's house now. There's no more of the familiar voice calling me to eat, eat more, and giving me more when i finished eating. No more of the calls for my to pray to Guan Yin when i reached the house and no more of a voice to ask me to drink water. No more of a hand to feel my hand. Instead, the once healthy body of her has been gone. Lying on the bed constantly is her frail little body. She lost so much weight. She couldn;t even remember what she asked me. asking me several times. My heart aches. Aching for my grandma and my aunt who has to be on the their side constantly. Not taking care of babies but 2 big adult babies.
I thought about those days when i'm still a kid, those years when i spend my months at my grandma's house yearly. I missed them. I missed those moments. Feeling the tears filling my eyes, rolling down my cheeks whenever i thought of those healthy moments of them and the frail moment that they are having now. This prompts some thoughts: One can have a wonderful life, giving happiness to everyone and having a skill thats so great. But what do u do with that when u are old, losing ur memories day by day? In the end, only sadness will prevail.
Know what? the most heart wrenching thing is when i'm gonna go home. i went to my grandma. shook her, told her that i'm going home.
she asked:" Who are u?"
I replied:" I'm ah lun ah!!! Singapore's ah lun... ur youngest daughter's son."
She loved me lots...
She asked again:" u had not come for a long long time."
To that, I replied:" Got!! i just came late last year."
She nodded.
Struggling to get up. I sensed that she wanna send me off at the gate, like usual. But she's so WEAK now!! i wun have the heart to see her do this.
She insisted.
I helped her up, sitting on her bed. Then to her wheel chair. bringing her to the living room.
She said with a familiar sentence, one which i had heard whenever i go to her house. A very weak voice:" Go. Pray to guan yin pu sa. tell her u are going home. ask her to bao you u."
i went on. I prayed not for me but for her to get well soon. i sincerely do.
then she sat on her wheel chair, by the gate.
i got onto the car.
Slowly, the car moved off. she waved her hands gently, bidding me good byes. i held my tears. waving my hands too. The scenario this year hadn't been the same as all the previous times.
I'm afraid that this will be my last time waving to her. i'm really afraid. I hope she'll live on. her health improving daily.
Grandma, I LOVE U!
Charm: Life isn't great without those people u love around.
Finally got to see my uncles and aunties during the reunion dinner. Its not as if that they nvr visit my grandma, but they do used to do it on a weekly basis on sunday, making my house a buzz with all those majongs. Perhaps the kids are grown up, my cousins, aunties are seldom seen on sundays. Its a great feeling thou.. to have the family back. Hmmm... as usual, my fifth uncle's side is missing. Well, they do come on Chu Yi thou..
lol.. dunno what i typing..
after the reunion dinner, i went to watch Ah long pte ltd. lol.. A very disappointing show. As in, its not the kind of really entertaining show we'd been expecting all these years from Jack Neo, but its really not that good.
As usual, i went back to malaysia with my mum to visit my grandma. Its quieter this year. my second uncle is back but not his children and wife. they had kind of a tiff. However, to me. i think that no matter what differences, we, as the grandchildren or children, shd go back and visit our very own grandma, one who's been very very caring to us all these years. Our grandpa who is always sleeping now, not remembering anyone or anything, but once a great cook and one who took us out, taught us how to drink tea the traditional way.
My grandma's health has been really bad as compared to last year. She's 92. Last year, she can walk, cook, talk. Not this year. She suffered a stroke late last year. Docs gave her no hope. She's on the line of death, but miracles do happen. She survived! I'm glad!
But this visit's really giving my excruciating pain. The way she's struggling, calling my aunt every moment, every minute. Not having the strength to even stand up, having to wear pampers, not eating as much. Life's never been the same whenever i go back to my grandma's house now. There's no more of the familiar voice calling me to eat, eat more, and giving me more when i finished eating. No more of the calls for my to pray to Guan Yin when i reached the house and no more of a voice to ask me to drink water. No more of a hand to feel my hand. Instead, the once healthy body of her has been gone. Lying on the bed constantly is her frail little body. She lost so much weight. She couldn;t even remember what she asked me. asking me several times. My heart aches. Aching for my grandma and my aunt who has to be on the their side constantly. Not taking care of babies but 2 big adult babies.
I thought about those days when i'm still a kid, those years when i spend my months at my grandma's house yearly. I missed them. I missed those moments. Feeling the tears filling my eyes, rolling down my cheeks whenever i thought of those healthy moments of them and the frail moment that they are having now. This prompts some thoughts: One can have a wonderful life, giving happiness to everyone and having a skill thats so great. But what do u do with that when u are old, losing ur memories day by day? In the end, only sadness will prevail.
Know what? the most heart wrenching thing is when i'm gonna go home. i went to my grandma. shook her, told her that i'm going home.
she asked:" Who are u?"
I replied:" I'm ah lun ah!!! Singapore's ah lun... ur youngest daughter's son."
She loved me lots...
She asked again:" u had not come for a long long time."
To that, I replied:" Got!! i just came late last year."
She nodded.
Struggling to get up. I sensed that she wanna send me off at the gate, like usual. But she's so WEAK now!! i wun have the heart to see her do this.
She insisted.
I helped her up, sitting on her bed. Then to her wheel chair. bringing her to the living room.
She said with a familiar sentence, one which i had heard whenever i go to her house. A very weak voice:" Go. Pray to guan yin pu sa. tell her u are going home. ask her to bao you u."
i went on. I prayed not for me but for her to get well soon. i sincerely do.
then she sat on her wheel chair, by the gate.
i got onto the car.
Slowly, the car moved off. she waved her hands gently, bidding me good byes. i held my tears. waving my hands too. The scenario this year hadn't been the same as all the previous times.
I'm afraid that this will be my last time waving to her. i'm really afraid. I hope she'll live on. her health improving daily.
Grandma, I LOVE U!
Charm: Life isn't great without those people u love around.
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